Mindsight: Seeing the Mind Behind the Behaviour
By Jayanta Chakraborty
Parenting often feels like a game of 'whack-a-mole' with behaviours. We correct one issue, and another pops up. This happens when we focus only on the surface. To truly empower our parenting, we need to develop what neuroscientist Daniel Siegel calls Mindsight. Mindsight is the ability to use our imagination to perceive the internal world of another person—their thoughts, feelings, and nervous system state. Instead of reacting to a child spilling dog food with 'What are you doing?!', mindsight invites us to pause and ask, 'Why are they acting this way? How fascinating!'. It shifts us from judgment to curiosity. This isn't just a nice philosophy; it is the second 'S' in earning a secure attachment: making the child feel Seen. When a child feels that their inner world is understood, their nervous system calms down. But here is the catch: we cannot offer mindsight to our children if we cannot offer it to ourselves. We must first learn to view our own reactions with cu.. Read more »